you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
