How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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