your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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