Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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