In the future we'll all be gay
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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