so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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