Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
