Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
