theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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