Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm passing your future prison.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
