u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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