there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
