there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
