What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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