I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
