I'm so fucking centered right now
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
