omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
