Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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