First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
