Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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