i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
