I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
