It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
