How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I have tasted many bathrooms
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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