We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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