So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
