So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
