we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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