also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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