We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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