I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
