im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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