new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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