Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
