Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
