dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Dignity is for republicans.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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