He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
