i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
They are going to name an STD after you.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
