did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
