Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
