Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
