Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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