Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Still dying that you shit outside
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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