Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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