They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
