i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Im part way to drunk.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
