My nipple is on Facebook.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
