He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
