god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
