yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
