Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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