Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
