I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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